Chronicles of a Young College Boy

Saturday, January 03, 2009

ah ok today my mind is a little more clear for writing blogs. Ytd was just badd...but it actually ended off quite well because i finally finished one cover letter...the more important part is that i understand more or less how the format for the letter works. So for the other 2 positions that need cover letters (global capital markets and investment management) I just need to research more on what those 2 actually mean lol.

hmm i dont think i want to limit this entry to one subject...i want to think as freely as i can =). For a start I probably want to think through a couple of goals that i want to set for myself for 2009....you know...the regular process. Buut first maybe I should evaluate on how i did on my previous 08 new year evaluations.

First goal i had was....believe it or not...to start getting serious looking for a partner. I debated whether i want this as my new year resols or not...since it concerns other ppl. Did I achieve it? no and yes. No because obviously i am still single now. Yes because I have narrowed my choices my quite a large margin. Lets say my search narrowed from the world (yes i'm tht clueless) to just asia plus minus 3 max. my age (so 16 to 22 currently). During my summer I had a couple of...hmmm...revelations that kinda directed and showed me doors that i will open and doors i prefer to close. This is one of the first new year resols tht i kinda failed to achieve but i know will lead to a big thing sometime somewhere.

Second and third goals are the regular goals that i dont really like to mention because...well..i didnt achieve it lol. Second is the academic goal and third is the health goal. Academic goal i really slipped up especially in the fall smst, while the health goal i actually got to a good run during the summer...running almost everyday. lol for some reason the summer is really the highlight of 08 for me =). But the second half of the year after summer has definitely improved my academic life somewhat. I had gone through 10 interviews and went to new york for a function with the rich university alumnis ($$). I think this alone has boosted my confidence in how I should carry myself in both formal and informal sessions. Plus during the Walstreet crisis my learning curve for the finance world is even sharper than what i had with my internship with UBS. Plus I bought my first stocks!

Health i think is the really worst hit as I end 08. I even stop going to taekwondo..which is normally my last resort of dropping.

Soooo coming back to the goals. I definitely want to get my black belt this year. This will be happening some time in march, so i have time to practice during those times. LOL honestly speaking this is the only tangible goal tht I can think of this year. In terms of academic goals I want to achieve a smst gpa of 3.6 or higher for both smst. Since i failed quite miserably in terms of numbers for gpa in '08, i will revise down the goals for '09 =).

In terms of social goals, i think i will want to do a better job in asking ppl i havent talked to for some time how they are doing. I was not really able to do tht up until recently when i started to become more active on facebook. Ahh what are we to do without today's technology =P.

I think i want to end off this entry on a small note. I hear once from a motivational speaker that setting goals does not mean tht you will reach them (duh I'm the living breathing evidence of tht). Buuuttt heres the quote he followed with," Even if you dont reach the moon, you will land somewhere in the stars." Happy 2009!

DanieL counted snowflakes at 1:20 AM

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Happy New Year 2009! ahh been some time since I have written, so what better time to write to start off the new year? well i actually have an alternative motive to this to...I am supposed to begin the application process to internships again, and I have to write cover letters. Writer's block is not the most useful thing to have now...so I'm using this blog entry to start/warm-up my engine....and also reflect on 2008 =).

To start off 2008...I spent a couple of days on cruise with my cousins...fun and memorable times. But too bad I was sick during tht time -_- haha. and then i have to go back to US to continue my school....you know what come to think of it I don't really remember significant things that happened in the first half of the year...other than spending hours in front of the computers writing a program for a class project lol.

Then only in the summer my year starts to get really interesting...as I have said a couple of entries ago, its probably by far the most fun I had in a summer ever. There were definitely some downs in the summer. But looking back, i thought the ups really outweigh the downs. Then in the fall I started my journey of job-searching. O boy it was one of the most humbling experiences I had ever had. So far, I have been rejected 4 times from companies that I have interviewed for. I got so accustomed to the rejection emails that I know i am rejected on the 3rd and 4th companies just by reading the first 3 sentences. Even though people would attribute this to the lousy economy, I would disagree to some extent. Yesh the economy does a play a role, but the fact that other people are getting called instead of me bugs me because this fact is stating that I am not good enough for the companies yet. This is the really worrying fact. arghh now my mind is drifting back to the cover letters...lol I know the whole entry seemed like I just want to get to my cover letter...haiz I will do my best to write another entry to reflect on the events that occured in 08. For the mean time, wish me luck =).

DanieL counted snowflakes at 11:59 PM

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Helloo....ah been some time since I updated my blog. For some reason I feel like writing an entry at 3am in the morning. Comfortable temperature and a little alcohol makes a person reflective haha.

Ah well so far the semester been real busy for me...first time taking 19 credits, and besides that I'm taking Japanese, so I normally take a lot of time doing the homework. It's basically like learning chinese all over again, with spelling and writing word-for-word on the practice workbook. Then I have something new in my life now: Finance world. Not that I don't have it before, but now its kinda amplified now. Because of the financial crisis that is happening in the US, I become so engrossed in the stock market that I think some of my friends think me as weird when I turn on cnbc right after I come back from class...but o well we all need our little hobbies doesn't we?

There has been something that made me think for a while. Is it possible for someone to have just one gf/bf in their life and then thts it, like they settle down after that? I mean it is possible, but how big is the chance of meeting someone like that. I kinda ponder over some people who responded to what I said about this matter. One of them said, 'The pain will kill you." some others think I'm just being to idealistic. When it comes to the pain that can kill me, either way I'm screwed. Because if I play around and find a girlfriend that I dont think I want to get serious with, the pain of having to go through the end process is painful enough. But then on the other hand if I find someone that I know I can get serious with, but then later fail in the end, worse pain might follow, depending on the situation.

There is probably so many opinions on this matter. I mean... who am I to say what pain in the relationship is like? I know I am a veteran on saying what pain is before a relationship is, but I dont think I am in any position to say something about pain in a relationship. I know some people my age who has been in these situations more times than I can imagine, but the thing is...they are still fine and going. But then again I tend to be a little volatile when it comes to these situations...haha I think some of my closer friends know how thats like...but the point is that if people can go through situations like that and still emerge as one whole...whats the real deal? Won't it come to a point where the person will say,' Alright time to get serious.' or 'enough of fooling around'...but is it just a plunge they take when they started on the relationship? Do they think first about this person before getting emotionally mumbo-jumbo and in the heat of the moment say yes to the person? IIII dont know...maybe I'm just over-analysing this matter....but never hurts to avoid a number of landmines doesn't it?

DanieL counted snowflakes at 2:39 AM

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Wua what a summer this has been. If I were to read this post at the start of the summer, i would not have believe a single word of it. I remembered clearly at the start that i did not feel excited at all coming back to singapore, it actually feels wrong because i normally stay in the US for the summer, and I thought i would have more fun in the US than in Spore. Boy oh boy was I so wrong. This is by far the best summer in comparison with the past 2 summers.

Summer starts off with the disastrous start with UBS, which I was convinced was going to make my summer an misery. Buuut things got better and I become more adapt with the work, especially excel.

And then new people starts coming in, Marco, Ling Min, Rebecca, and the WM program folks. They really were the ones who made this summer so fun for me (plus trusty old Max). During the graduation night of the Wealth Management Program, it's funny tht I feel glimpses of similarity with the graduation I had 3 years ago with my secondary school friends (except for the clubbing part tht is hehe). It's just weird that now I'm feeling so sentimental over leaving singapore again that it almost feels like leaving back in '06. I don't really know how I should explain it, but its so much fun to hang out with these people.

Basically after the WM program, everything was going so much better for me because i knew more people and i had something new in my life: the party scene. As probably many of my friends know, I was always the "good student". Frankly speaking, I was tired of living that life and I wanted to change, to experience something new. This summer has definitely given me the opportunity to do so. I was lucky enough to be around 2 people who have more or less been at all the clubs and bars I went to. Those r the 2 people that are in the picture. They were pretty much a lot more experienced than I was when it comes to these category of life.

To a certain extent, I think this summer is almost like a mini-US, when it comes to how much effect it has on me. I remember in US I was struggling so much during the first semester in terms of fitting in and adapting. But after the first semester I was more or less having a blast. This summer was to a certain extent the same. I was struggling during the first week and things started to become fun, espeecially during the program itself. I wouldn't say I changed as much as I did for US, but I did change. Buuuttt the change didn't come without a price. I was afraid that I became more arrogant, more of a know-it-all. Ooo well, I'm again lucky to have my parents who will put me back where I should be when I'm out of line =).

ah well, I probably have to get to bed now to catch my very early flight, which is in about....7 hours. =)

DanieL counted snowflakes at 10:08 AM

Saturday, July 12, 2008

hey hey hey...What a week this has been...I have probably said tht countless times on this blog. But seriously this week has been one of the most enjoyable and craziest weeks in my life...
For a start, I joined the UBS Wealth Management Program this week, more or less a break from the internship that I have currently with the same company. It's a program designed for people around my age to learn more about the finance world. I was excited to go mainly because of the reason for taking a step back from the working world to think more about where I am. Oh boy did I receive a lot more than tht. I'm just smiling to myself just by thinking about the memories I have from last week.

I guess what stands out most is my party life. As you might know, I never really go to parties, moreover my low tolerance for alcohol is more or less known. Last week itself, I had more alcohol than I had in my entire life. I was convinced that I'm so sick of alcohol that I had an interesting end of the day last tuesday. Anyway then I went clubbing on wednesday and friday. Wednesday was my first time going to a club, so I was a little awkward going about the place. But it did open my eyes to a place i have imagined before but never thought it really exist as I have imagined it to be. Anyway I geared myself up as I went clubbing again on the last day of the program, and I had a blast because I was a lot more comfortable dancing to the music.

The people on the program? They are such an awesome bunch. It has been a while since I have that much of a good time with people I have only known for a week. The people there can be just so smart at times that I'm at awe. Most of the people I know there also have a stomach for alcohol that I'm equally at awe. But no matter which days you pick, it was just so cool hanging out with them that when it comes to the graduation of the program at the end of the week, it feels like the graduation I have from secondary school. I was feeling nostalgic all day today because it feels weird not being around them during the day and having plans of partying during the night. You know what I fear most? That the relationships are lost as quickly as they are created due to lack of keeping in touch. Not to end off this part of the paragraph on a sad note, I am sure we wont really lose contact quickly because of facebook, which I today officially made a switch to from friendster.

DanieL counted snowflakes at 11:16 AM

Sunday, June 22, 2008

As I have said in the past couple of entries...I have done a lot of thinking about my current situation...I have been kind of disillusioned by this process of living...in the past when i had it much easier, i read up and listened to many inspirational stories about people reaching their goals..I thought success is well (more on this later) ...A classic success story is like sylvester stallone's...if you dont know how he become successful, i seriously recommend you to listen to his story.

Anyway, i realised that i lost my goal in life...yeap in a word..disillusioned...and i listened to tony robbins about the fact that success is 80% psychology and 20% mechanics...i realised that i have an inner conflict regarding success...i know this is going to sound extremely stupid...but I thought success is going to come easy because i was surrounded by success stories and focused too much on their success than their struggle...i thought God would just come down and say," its your turn to be successful!" i know...RIDICULOUS....i thought that success would not require time and complete dedication...i thought that success would not need large sacrifices...i thought that i would not meet difficult people, people who symbolises as tests to my determination...well...What an idiot i've become...i think if stuart tan or adam khoo (i went for their motivational camps) read this entry...they would have my head....

SO....I have thought it over...and came up with a vision...so here goes:

I envision myself to be the most well-rounded businessman I can ever be. I will continue learning about all aspects of business to my best extent, even if this requires large sacrifices and dealing with difficult people. I know sometimes I will be on my own, but I will do what I can to continue. I realise I will have to complete tasks that I will not like, but I will see it as another step closer to my goal. As I built on my knowledge, it will be used to bring myself up the corporate ladder and achieve a chief executive position. When wealth comes along, I want to donate US$1 million to an animal charity organization to do my part in animal conservation. This is my end result.

haaaa...there you have it....there is a good chance it might change..but this is more or less what I will shoot for now...in terms of inner psychology...there might be another conflict which seems less significant, but still important to me all the same...I think the issue of having a partner has been bugging me for quite some time...im not going to talk about this further, since those close to me know more or less whats the situation...BUT my point is, im going to clarify my priority right now. I wont be distracted. I will keep my eye on the ball.

DanieL counted snowflakes at 9:01 AM

Saturday, June 21, 2008

heya...the past 2 weeks in the internship has been much better than the first week because i gained 2 friends....even though this week i clocked in at about 55 hours at work....its kinda nice because now i get to chat at work with my friends...not staring at the computer for 10 hours...

What if suddenly you see yourself as someone you never picture as? in other words, what if you realise you are not the person you think you are?...this internship has really revealed quite a bit about myself which im not exactly proud of...i learnt it through conversations with both my friends and family...i dont know how...but flaws which i thought i never had are revealed in a number of places...i think im going to use this entry to face those flaws...because i will definitely push it away if i only confront it through my thoughts...

Firstly, I realise I'm all-talk, no action....to a certain extent...this is the flaw that i cannot stand because i actually dislike people like tht...and now i find it in myself...some example are....Before internship i told my parents tht i can withstand whatever crap UBS will throw at me...now im not already quite stressed out over the work...and they are not even throwing crap at me...for some reason i made statements that i never think over properly....i feel both frustrated and guilt-ridden when i realise this...

Secondly, i realise that im not as confident and brave as i imagined myself as....i know I wont be the first person into a battlefield...but my responses to the couple of events in the past couple of weeks has been...well...downright pathetic...this is comparing to what the ideal me would do in a situation...for some reason i couldnt find the courage to do the right thing when the situation calls for it....

I think the word courage is something that shouldn't be thrown around easily...i mean motivational speakers inspire students to be brave...and during tht time i believe it wholeheartedly...but now i find tht its not as easy as it sounds...the thought pattern that happend very often in "advise sessions" with people like my parents are like.."What was i thinking? Why would i act like tht?"...the thing is...i know what are the right things....but when the situation calls for it...they are pushed aside and i complain complain and complain....hmm somethings are not right here...

I read something very useful last week..."Having a job you love doesn't give you a recipe to an easy life, it gives you a recip for an interesting life." this statement for me, hits home when im at a point of thinking if i chose the right major or not...its by andrew matthews and everyday for the past weeks i have been reading his book just to get more enlightenment....i mean the problem is, i actually read his books before...but only now its useful for me....

His book im reading now is called "Follow your heart"...i definitely recommend it to anyone who has a dilemma about where you are in life now...=)

DanieL counted snowflakes at 11:57 AM